'Real' nightmare...

Bank with Cooperative? Think twice before you travel to this part of the world....

From BA (where, on my last night, I fell of the wagon and ate the biggest juiciest steak imaginable) we got an exceedingly comfortable bus - with champagne - to Puerto Iguazu. The beauty of the falls defies description - suffice to say, I´ve never seen anything so astoundingly beautiful in my life. Apparently they make Niagra look like a ripple.

We ´did' the Brazilian side as soon as we got off the bus. The rain was relentless but we were gonna get wet anyway. A small bridge (with metal flooring you could see through) took you out over the heart of the falls where you could look down at certain death. A humbling, spiritual and quite terrifying moment for us both, I think.

The Argentinian side took the whole of the next day - many people say it´s better but it´s simply because there´s more of it. Waterfalls and rainbows as far as the eye can see. The wildlife was pretty impressive too - iridescent blue butterflies, blue jays and raccoons that scared the living daylights out of me as I was chased by a pack and had been told they carried rabies. It wasn´t until they ransacked my shoe bag with their sharp claws in search of food, that I realised it wasn´t my flesh they were after! We were on the lookout for toucans, pumas and jaguars too but, perhaps luckily, weren´t rewarded.

The highs of travelling come with lows and these came as soon as we crossed the border into Foz do Iguacu in search of a bus to take us to Rio. Foz isn´t very nice but the hostel was amazing - tennis courts, football pitch, swimming pool, beautifully kept tropical gardens and cute cabins. Or it would have been amazing if it hadn´t been bone-achingly cold, wet and deserted. The misery was consolidated by no heating and an open, now muddy restaurant in which I got food poisoning. I spent the day trying, unsuccessfully, to find a cash point that would let us withdraw reais (thanks to Cooperative banks´ over-scrupulous security policy) and the night sweating and starving out a fever. Weak and tired the next day, we discovered that we could only get a sleeper bus in Argentina! So here we are again. Back over the border in Puerto Iguazu with the buses to Rio fully booked till Monday. Realised that in just two days we missed the Spanish language and the familiarity of Argentina. It´s lovely to have a rest too...this travelling malarkey´s great but can take it right out of you!

Montevideo

Someone asked me what Uruguay was famous for. Like meat pies in tins? Well, they gave us Fray Bentos. Didn´t make the pilgrimage as couldn´t persuade Sare that it was worth the t-shirt! (wonder why?!)

On Friday we were invited to a Friends of the Earth press conference in the capital, Montevideo. It was followed by a tribunal review (including ruling party MPs) - they're doing a lot of campaigning against European companies in SA. I only wish I understood it! The speakers directly addressed us thinking we were journos but we met the enthusiastic quick-fire Spanish with confused stares!

We were told Montevideo was a pretty city but didn´t appreciate it till the last day - on a bus (pumping out Bob Marley) when the sun came out. Its dirty elegance certainly looks better in the right light. It´s scattered with the familiar market filled plazas, kioskos and radio taxis like BA but the latter feels unabashedly opulent by comparison. Not sure why the shantytowns outside Montevideo surprised me either.

I can´t help feeling we came here at the wrong time of year because we´ve had to bypass some of Uruguay´s most beautiful beaches after being told some didn´t have electricity and we´d face polar conditions. (and how much would princess Tamara not like that?!)

Being back in BA has put a smile on my face (at least until a cab driver ripped us off with fake currency) Off to the Iguassu Falls tomorrow....16 hours by bus...bring it on!

Colonia del Sacramento

Our last day at Buenos Aires University didn´t pass without celebration for I braved the infamous San Telmo pub crawl....but I can´t give you many details!

Despite the cockroaches, I was sad to leave BA. Don´t think I´ve met friendlier people anywhere.

We´re now just over the water in the charming little town called Colonia del Sacramento, Uruguay. It´s a UNESCO heritage site and it´s easy to see why. Cobbled streets, quaint colonial architecture, a beach and calm make a stark contrast to the craziness of BA.

We´re very much here in low season and winter has very definitely taken hold, so most of the restaurants are empty and away from the old town, there´s an air of desolation about the place. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to remember what continent I´m on. Architecture here is undergoing an identity crisis - it ranges from thatched Cornish cottage, to a Spanish villa next door to an alpine hut.

The air has a distinct 70´s feel about it. Most of the vehicles were built then and haven´t seen an MOT since. I can imagine how this lovely little place comes alive in the summer but I slept in my clothes last night. Wasn´t expecting that of South America at sea level! I´ve been curled up by a roaring fire, with a nice red wine and good company for hours so at least I´ve quit me whinging!

Metamorphosis

BsAs is becoming smaller these days but unfortunately the same can´t be said for the cockroaches, which despite a second attempt at fumigation, are still very much alive and crawling. We´re getting used to the stench of insecticide. Not for the first time, I´ve imagined we could feature in a plot not dissimilar to Kafka's 'Metamorphosis´

I win the bimbo point this time. Out at a waterside restaurant in the city´s smart refurbished port, Puerto Madero, I see a large, black insect crawling under the table. Feet up on the chair next to me, in a blind paralysed panic I croak 'GET SOMEONE!!´at a bewildered Sare who obediently rushes off to get a waiter. I´m having visions of the large roach scurrying up my chair, thinking about it´s repulsiveness being just inches away. I´m so scared, I can´t even move my eyeballs.

The whole restaurant is looking but I don´t care. A concerned looking waiter comes to my aid. It feels like eternity. Under the table, he catches it in his bare hands, looks at me and smiles. I can see what he is thinking.

'Stupid English. How can someone be so pathetic? Scared of a harmless little cricket.'

Ouch.

The house of horrors

Unfortunately I can´t yet say in Spanish "The drains are blocked", "The kitchen pipework´s leaking", "They are demolishing an internal wall next door, it´s adjacent to my bedroom and the noise is intolerable" or "There´s a cockroach under my bed, AGAIN"

Broken English

Is it just me or does second language immersion f*** with your head? I say this because something strange is happening to my mother tongue. Words over two syllables are not so easily retrieved and you end up thinking in a British-slowed-down-simplified-for-non-native-speakers, patois.

Sacrificing my reasonably extensive use of English vocabulary to make room in my little brain for "I want a swimming hat, please" or "I really like ginger" in Spanish. Managed to squeeze out a comprehensible "We have no hot water" today - living in this flat becomes more like some kind of permanent campsite everyday.

We sampled some Tango again last night - as Sare so eloquently puts it in her blog "Everybody tango's here. Everybody. Including people you wouldn't expect. 'Cool' guys with beany hats, uncool guys in football shirts, men who look about ninety"

Everybody, that is, except me. I´m sure you can guess what I was doing.

It was pretty cool despite my lack of participation. A young guy caressed an accordion, another pounded a battered piano with such passion and mastery, you could feel the air quake. All the while, the dancefloor was full of embracing couples performing what on Discovery Channel would only be described as an elaborate mating ritual - but oh, so damn sexy.

No tengo dinero o Marmite pero muchas cucharachas

...and as anyone that knows me well, this means crisis.

The money thing´s a right pain in the arse - despite numerous emails to the letting agent my rent is 3 weeks late. So I´m in South America with an empty bank account and a flat which, despite an attempt at fumigation by a man who really looked like he spends too long with cockroaches, is full of them.

I´m a nervous wreck before getting the cereal out of the food cupboard, putting shoes on or going to the bathroom - actually to be honest, all the time. I am convinced they´re out to get me and there´s nothing I can do about it.

Worse still, I´ve run out of Marmite. I´ve posted pleas on a Buenos Aires expat site asking where I can get some and some kind soul has responded with a recipe to make my own with brewers yeast and soy sauce. Hmmmmm.

Thankfully, the Spanish course is getting better so we´ve found ourselves getting a crammed tube to Uni every morning and coming home with homework. Am looking forward to the day when I don´t have to say ´Lo siento, no comprendo. Soy Inglesa y no hablo Espanol´ every time someone tries to communicate!

In an attempt to do something about our rapidly increasing waistlines, we´ve got health club membership so feel very much like card-carrying BA citizens with our daily routine. Just as well as we´re fast discovering that Buenos Aires lives by night. People don´t go out till 11pm and don´t have to be 22 to stay out till breakfast.

Swimming today, I decided that Sare and I would award each other ´Bimbo points´ to whoever performs the most brainless act of the day. Today´s point goes to Sare for losing her locker key in the deep end!